Darkness
by Geeeky-fandoms
Summary: It was dark and they thought they were alone. They're sorry they really really are. Some chapters may be m rating not sure. TRIGGER TRIGGER TRIGGER.
1. Chapter 1

Darkness

1.

It was dark and he felt fat. He thought he was alone. He'd done this before. It wasn't the only way he'd hurt himself. After what he'd done to himself when he was younger sticking his fingers down his throat was nothing. Ethan had been depressed for years he'd been self harming for almost as long. An eating disorder would just add to his list of problems. Not that he cared. He was just thinking, I'm fat, I'm fat I'm ugly and I'm fat. The sick pooled into the bowl of the toilet. Cal didn't care, he'd never even noticed the now faint scars littering his wrist. Every so often he'd run his fingers over these faint scars before doing the same over the fresh scars on his stomach.

He slid his fingers down his throat causing the vomit to rise to its exit once more before flushing the toilet. He washed his hands, swilled his mouth out and exited the toilet he turned around and was faced with his brother. Ethan sighed, cal would inevitably forced him to take tomorrow off work he didn't need more time to be with his thoughts he needed to be at work.

"You're sick," Cal said

"No, I'm fine." Ethan muttered although he he knew that his go to phrase wouldn't be accepted by his brother on this occasion.

"Bullshit, I just heard you throw up. Ethan, it's okay we all get sick sometimes." Cal said putting a comforting hand on Ethan's shoulder.

"Whatever, I'm not sick." Ethan said pushing past his brother.

"I don't care I'm ringing Connie you're not going in tomorrow." Cal said.

Ethan sighed as he switched his light on. He didn't feel like sleeping but he didn't want to do what he felt like doing. He counted the freshest wounds over and over. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and then as he held that small shiny rectangular thing in his hand, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,6789,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17.

He felt a rush of relief take over his body and quickly began to feel less trapped in his mind. He knew that this wouldn't last long, so he tried his best to get to sleep and for once he did falling into a dreamless sleep around 30 minuets later. Caleb however, couldn't sleep. He worried about his brother and felt he was hiding something from him. He snuck into his brothers room, the way Ethan always used to when they were kids, and lifted the covers he got into the bed next to his brother. He smiled fondly at memories of thunder storms, of which Ethan was completely terrified, where his little would sneak into his room and curl up on his chest. Cal wrapped up his arms around his brother, who didn't stir, before he fell into a blissful sleep.

The next morning, Ethan awoke with a start. He could feel arms wrapped protectively around him and smiled slightly, Cal. Ethan looked down and saw blood stains on his pj shirt. Carefully, he got out bed wincing slightly at the pain this caused him. He got out without his brother waking up, quietly, he slipped on a pair of cal's track suit bottoms he'd found in the clean laundry basic and borrowed one of his brothers hoodies.

They smelt of his brother which brought comfort the the younger man. Ethan sighed and made himself a cup of tea before putting on one of his favourite shows the Big Bang Theory. He was mindlessly humming along to the theme tune when he noticed his brother behind him.

"I'm off today too by the way." Cal smiled before walking away. Ethan sighed, he'd really much rather be at work.

A/n it not as long as I hoped but I want to do this story justice as it's obviously more sensitive than anything I've ever written. It's got to go down before it can go up is all I'm going to say about this story. Also that it's stars the two most user appreciated characters (by the writers at least) Ethan and Robyn. - Xand


	2. Chapter 2

2.

Robyn sighed as she looked in the mirror. "Gross," she thought. "I'm just gross." When she saw herself she always felt sick, but she could never do that to herself, she wanted to but something wouldn't let her. She also knew that someone would find out if she did.

Furthermore, it probably wouldn't work anyway because in her eyes, she was just too fat. Now this wasn't true but evidently Robyn couldn't notice. Robyn poked and prodded at her body and sighed again. She supposed it was worth a try anything to stop being fat right. She made her way to the bathroom and locked the door. She sat by the toilet for sometime too nervous to try anything. A tiny voice at the back of her head made her do it, "go on," it said, "there's no harm in trying."

She, like her colleague, slid her fingers to the back of her throat, she had a gag reflex - obviously- but it made her move her fingers rather than throwing the contents of her stomach into the toilet. Eventually, she gave up and sat on the side of the bath. Tears - hot and wet- slid down her cheeks, the salty taste somehow making its way into her mouth. How could she be so useless? Wiping away her tears, she returned to her knees and tried again to get the vomit to rise in her throat.

This time she was successful, the bitter taste flooded her mouth and coated her teeth before spilling into the bowl of the toilet. Resting her head against the toilet bowl. She promises herself she'll keep this under control.

He spent a day trying to hide the obvious wounds that covered his wrists and legs even his feet had old scars on them and the way his brother was smothering him that day, he just prayed Cal wouldn't work it out.

Cal had noticed that something was wrong with Ethan. In his head, he was trying to work out if it was easier to ask or to work it out. Deciding on asking, he sat down next to Ethan and turned to him.

"Ethan, is anything wrong?"

Ethan visibly tensed at this point.

"No, cal nothing's wrong I'm fine." Cal raised an eyebrow at his younger brother.

"You're lying. Look Ethan, I know I haven't always been there for you but I wan right now and I ask that you use me. Whatever it is we can deal with it appropriately. I'm here. Please."

Ethan turned his head towards his brother.

"I'm fine."

A/N For depressed-and-cool


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